


I'm Sorry By The Way

by BrklynVan



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction, liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Other, Post-Zayn One Direction, Sadness, Song: Lights Up (Harry Styles)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:41:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21533875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrklynVan/pseuds/BrklynVan
Summary: “What am I supposed to say to you, Harry?”“I need closure.” Harry was biting the inside of his lip so hard he could taste blood.“How do I do that Harry?” Louis's chest was rising and falling too fast, voice a little louder, and jaw clenched tightly.“I just can't move on from you Louis.”“So..What? You want me to tell you I don’t love you anymore?” Louis was getting frustrated.○ OR ○A lot can happen in two years and Harry and Louis have a lot to discuss about their past and future.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 103





	I'm Sorry By The Way

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This is my first time writing for Larry. Got inspired after lights up. I edited this super quick so excuse the mistakes and leave feedback! xxxx

It had been over a year and a half.

The last time was at some pretentious party.

Louis wasn’t fond of these parties. Networking, brown-nosing, and millionaires who only talk about themselves. He felt like he never fit in.  
Harry didn’t mind them. He always fit in and charmed every single person in the room.

Of course, that is what he was doing when Louis entered through the french doors into a dimly lit room full of celebrities. He wasn’t alone. His girlfriend, of a year, was standing tall and beautiful beside him, smiling and laughing at some joke the CEO of Capitol Records just made. She was a model, Louis had guessed it right the first time he heard her name on some celebrity newsweekly when she was first spotted with Harry. She really did suit him. He looked happy and that was all he wanted for Harry.

Louis wasn’t alone either. 

Girlfriend of three and some years on his arm. She hated these parties too but was almost as good as Harry at these events. She made it easy and fun, making fun of the rich assholes under her breath. Louis did love her, just not the way he knew he was supposed to, not the way he knew he could.

Brief eye contact was the only contact Harry and Louis made that night. 

That was the last time, until now.

Text Message: **“I'm here I think.”**

Text Message: **“The gate code is 073 tell them your name they’ll let you in.”**

A knock at the door made Harry feel like he wanted to run but he knows how it feels to show up and receive no answer. Harry opened the front door and watched as Louis made his way up the driveway. Harry was shivering but this was California, not London.

Nerves.

Louis always had the power to bring Harry down from his consistent confidence trip that he put on like a mask every day.

“it's fookin' hot today,” Louis said breathlessly now standing in front of Harry.  
  
Harry smiled and motioned for Louis to come inside.

“You can just.. sit in the living room. I'm gonna grab a drink. Do you want anything?” Harry said, barely loud enough for Louis to hear him.

“No, that’s alright.” Louis sat down on the velvety couch, lightly. He sat still and upright almost as if he would break something if he got too comfortable. That’s usually what happened anyways right?

When Harry returned he brought Louis a bottle of water anyways, placing it on the glass coffee table in front of him.

“How are you?” Harry asked sitting down next to Louis.

“Knackered. I had Freddie last night. He is a fookin' powerhouse, that one.” Louis shook his head laughing.

Harry shakes his head like he understands what fatherhood is like. Sometimes he forgets Louis is a father. He has seen pictures of the little blonde boy that looks almost identical to Louis but has never met him.

“He's beautiful.” Harry smiles for the first time, finally looking at Louis. He looked tired. Maybe even confused as to why he's here. 

Harry did send a pretty odd text at the late hours of a random Tuesday night asking if he could come over and chat about things.   
Things could mean so many things for Harry and Louis.

And oh boy, did Louis think of so many things on the way over.

Louis thanked him and silence filled the room. It was anything but comfortable.

Harry let out a long breath. He forced himself to stop staring at the small wine stain on the carpet and look up at Louis for only the third time since he arrived.

“I'm coming out on Friday.”

Louis looked over at Harry so fast, he was sure he gave himself whiplash.

Harry waited for Louis to respond but Louis was waiting for Harry to continue.

“Then I'm releasing an album later this year. Nothing is done yet, but there's a few on there about you. It's about that.. whole time.”

That whole time.

Louis knew. He didn’t have to be specific. The time when Harry and Louis only wanted each other. The time when Harry realized he could probably like boys too. The time that Louis told Harry he was in love with him.

Louis shook his head in understanding.

This was not one of the many things Louis ran through his head on the way over.

“Congratulations. I'm proud of you. Thanks for telling me.” Louis was now staring straight ahead seemingly off in a daze. 

Maybe reminiscing on that time.

Harry followed Louis's eyes focusing on a picture of Harry and Camille propped up on his mantle above the fireplace. It was collecting dust and Harry still doesn’t know why he can't make himself take it down.

“I told her,” Harry doesn’t let his eyes fall from the picture even though Louis is now looking at him.

“about us.” Harry adds.

“Yeah?” Louis wondered if she took it better than Eleanor had the first time Louis told her about Louis and Harry's younger days.

“Yeah. She encouraged me to reach out to you after you and Eleanor broke up last year but I couldn’t. I really loved her, but I think she knew I was still.. carrying it with me.” Harry still can't make himself look at Louis. This is the first time Harry has spoke to Louis about their relationship since the two had ended whatever they had together. Harry thought it was temporary at first. Just a fight. But a few months later Louis was suddenly going to be a dad and then the band was taking a break and then they didn’t speak anymore.

“I know we were..- it was a while ago, but I can't fucking let you go and it's ruining every relationship I've tried to have. It makes me sick that I still am so fucked up over someone that I don’t even know anymore.”

When Harry finally looks over at Louis his cheeks are damp and eyes red.

“What am I supposed to say to you, Harry?”

“I need closure.” Harry was biting the inside of his lip so hard he could taste blood.

“How do I do that Harry?” Louis's chest was rising and falling too fast, voice a little louder, and jaw clenched tightly.

“I just can't move on from you Louis.”

“So..What? You want me to tell you I don’t love you anymore?” Louis was getting frustrated.

“I want you to tell me why you don’t want to be with me. Why you couldn’t just stay with me.” Harry let his head fall back onto the couch. A few soft sobs escaped his lungs.

“Harry, you know I didn’t know who I was. Fuck, I still don’t know who I am.” Louis sunk back into the couch now shoulder to shoulder with Harry.

“And I'm sorry by the way. I know I've said it before but I'm so fucking sorry for all of that. Everything we went through. Everything I put you through.”

“What? Louis, don’t apologize. I wouldn’t take back anything, I found myself because of you. I want you to feel that, I want you to be proud of who you are.”

“I do and I am, I'm just not you Harry. I'm still trying to process that I am gay.”

“You know, after Mom..- I just- I spiraled I only wanted you so fooking bad, but we hadn’t spoken and I was terrified that I would just run away like I always did and hurt you again. I went back to Eleanor the second she gave me a chance. I knew I had no reason to run from a relationship with her because I didn’t have to hide and I didn’t have to confront how I really feel.”

Harry didn’t even notice he was gripping Louis's hand in his until Louis gave his a little squeeze. He let out a long shaky breath and leans into Louis's side, waiting for him to continue.

“-But I'm working on it. I just want to be with who I am without being a fookin coward. I don’t know why it's so hard for me.” Louis lowers his eyes.

“It is not easy Lou. You have millions of eyes on you, millions of people who think they know you and expect you to be a certain way just because you're in the spotlight. I have no idea how people will react when I come out but I don’t care anymore. I only care that I am happy with who I am. You need to care about that first.”

Louis shakes his head in agreeance and lets Harry continue.

“I want to be here for you through this, Lou. I don’t want to make anything more complicated for you, but I don’t want to keep acting like we're strangers.”

“I don’t either.” Louis leans over and gives Harry a quick peck on his cheek.

As the night passes, Louis and Harry speak about bravery and why it seems so stupidly complex in their world. That night Louis and Harry fall asleep talking on the couch. The next morning when Louis wakes up cuddling with a very sleepy Harry, he knows he isn’t going to run this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
